Guest columnist: Pepper

I dreamed about the Big White again last night, covering the world with its fluffy pillows and blankets. I know it wasn’t just a dream because when I checked before breakfast there was still a little piece of it up at the back of the garden where the Master had made a big pile with his shovel, still cold and crunchy. Proof that the whole crazy thing was real.

New World

It started with a change in the air. I knew something was coming, but wasn’t sure what. The next day there was white dust falling out of the sky and blowing all over the garden. It looked like the stuff the Master puts in his tea, but it just vanished in my mouth when I tried to taste it. The Mistress seemed quite excited about our morning walk, which isn’t always the case. The dust was flying everywhere, gathering in corners, forming into little mounds and ridges that flurried away as soon as they appeared. It felt sharp and gritty when it blew into my eyes, but I only had to blink and the bad feeling went away. In the park I hooked up with Jasper and Pansy for a brief nose-to-tail. The dust had got them a little bit excited, a little bit nervy, just like me. After due consideration we agreed that it probably wasn’t harmful.

Back at the house nothing was quite normal. The Master came home surprisingly early and in a very jolly mood, then the Mistress told him something that made him less jolly and he had to squeeze through a little doorway into the roof with a hot air blower and some old blankets. The white stuff kept on falling for the rest of the day, and it was still coming down when I went for a last pee before lights-out.

It’s nice when things are quiet, but you know how sometimes it can be too quiet? You have to make a noise by scratching at something with your paw to check your ears are still working. That’s how it was when I woke up. No wind. No bottle man. No wheelie-boxes rumbling by. And no one stirring upstairs. I had to ring my bell several times before the Mistress came to let me out. I think we were both a bit surprised when she opened the back door because there was a new wall right outside, as high as my nose. Beyond the wall, the garden was completely covered by smooth mounds of white. They reminded me of the sand hills at the place with the salty water until I tried running over one of them and almost buried myself alive. After breakfast the Mistress stayed in her nightgown for what seemed like a very long time, but it was worth the wait because when we finally set off on my walk the Master came too, which almost never happens.

It’s hard for me to describe how much the world had changed. The most remarkable thing was the smell, or rather, the lack of it. All the usual odours had been scrubbed away, even that oily, burning stench that the wheelie-boxes belch out when they’re rolling. I wondered if this was what it was like at the very beginning of the world, before the first smell was made… Not to say that there were no smells at all. Some of my friends and acquaintances had clearly been out and about, leaving their marks here and there on the white carpet. The unadulterated crispness and purity of their leavings revealed subtleties of character that I had not been aware of before. I noticed, too, that many of the humans were wearing clothes that carried a distinct aroma of old cupboards.

The white dust was tingly to sit on

All the usual boundaries were gone. Pavement blurred into road blurred into park. Instead of doing the usual circuit we left the park at the far end, onto some roads I wasn’t sure I knew. One of them was quite steep and there were young humans sliding down it on items of kitchenware. It looked like fun and I wanted to join in, but the Master wouldn’t have it. I didn’t have long to mope though, because at the next corner I got my bearings and realised we were on our way to see one of my favourite people.

The Young Mistress squealed with delight when she opened her door and saw that it was me. I ran past her and leapt into the arms of her mate. He’s really cool and knows how to scratch behind my ears exactly right. He wasn’t sure about me to start with, but I won him over with my cuteness rays and now he lets me lick his mouth and everything. Top human. I don’t see nearly enough of him. On the way home the white stuff started falling again, tidying up the bits that had got dirty. It made me feel happy and, in that moment, I though that this clean new world might last forever.

It didn’t, of course, and even that last bit of white stuff up at the back of the garden has gone now, leaving no trace. But I know to the very tips of my whiskers that it was real, and I’m going to keep believing in the hope that one day, when the wind turns and the nights get cold again, the Big White will return.

A fall of moon dust?